Diabetic jokes

I thought I'd lighten the proceedings with some diabetic-related jokes:

Who is the patron saint of diabetics and railway stations? St Pancreas

Which large African animal sounds like a diabetic problem and also its possible solution?
A hippopotamus - Hypo - potato mass (apologies for that one)

There once was a diabetic called Rab
Who treated himself to a kebab
He didn't have chips
Because of his hips
And therefore didn't require a jab

I like it! Corny but I like it...

There once was a diabetic called Di
Who fancied a nice apple pie
But how many CPs?
Help me DAFNE please!
Or my meter will just scream at me "Why?!?!"

Why did the vampire bite the diabetic?


Because he had a sweet tooth!

Nice one, Derek.

A DAFNE diabetic called Hazel
Woke up one morning feeling nasal
The cold in her nose
Meant an increased QA dose
And also a slight rise in her basal

Alan that is class, this could run and run!

Hey ho .. here's a 5 minute effort:

Feeling just a little comatose
I really needed some glucacose
So out with the jelly babies
This is much better than rabies!

Important to note the misspelling and I'm not sure about my underlying psychosis.

Keep it going....

Well done, John. Here's another one:

A diabetic asleep on the patio
Had the unlikely name of Horatio
His control was all at sea -
He had a high HBA1C
Because he was on the wrong ratio.

Very neat Alan .. looks like I need to do 5 lines though!

Cheers, John

Yes John - Limericks have 5 lines.

I have another one ('Oh No!' I hear you groan):

A diabetic fell out with his G.P.
'Too many strips you are using' said he
The diabetic insisted -
'You're being ham-fisted -
Good control means I'll be complications-free'.

It doesn't scan properly, but I claim 'poetic licence'.

Hi Alan .. had a peer at wiki and indeed...

The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth usually rhyming with one another and having three feet of three syllables each; and the shorter third and fourth lines also rhyming with each other, but having only two feet of three syllables. The defining "foot" of a limerick's meter is usually the anapaest, (ta-ta-TUM), but limericks can also be considered amphibrachic (ta-TUM-ta)... (and much more).

So all forumites now have no excuse....

Cheers, John