Burnout

Yeah, if you've been diabetic for long enough, you've been there. I'm 22 years in.

My experience is this is just a temporary state caused by elevated BGs. You need to do what you can to get out of that situation.

It sounds like carb counting isn't working too well just now, I'd suggest going back to basics. Simplify the problem. Test your basal insulin, this needs to be right before the carb counting can work as intended. Take notes so you know what works and what doesn't.

The main point of all this effort is to be able to look back years from now and know you did good.

Good luck.

Also, please look at getting some professional counselling, preferably from someone who has experience with burnout from diabetes management. It is incredibly common to experience burnout from managing diabetes. Here in Australia, diabetics are twice as likely as the general population to experience depression. Your GP should be able to refer you to a good counsellor, and sharing your issues with someone who can help with strategies to overcome the burnout is likely to be very helpful in escaping from this.

Managing T1D is hard enough without dealing with burnout too, so please get some help in tackling this, and everything else will get easier.