Help

I did my DAFNE course a couple of years ago. I did not make a particular connection with anyone there, although I did learn a lot of useful information. The group I was put with were all thin and active people which I am not. This meant my insulin requirements, ratios, etc were very different from theirs which made me feel a little isolated. Since then, I have not attended any reunions. Due to work changes and my mum's illness, things have gone off track and I am struggling to get back to where I was after DAFNE. I am quite low at the moment and could not bear to share my blood sugars which are not perfect, my weight is also increasing and was not ideal in the first place. I know nobody would criticise me but I am not a person who enjoys standing up in front of lots of people. I have noticed trends creeping back in - I have stopped writing down blood sugars, started to panic with highs and take too much insulin, and started to see blood sugars as personal which was one of the things that messed me up before DAFNE, if I get a high I feel like I have failed or I am 'bad'. I know these things are stupid. I just don't know how to get back on an even keel. There is a therapist attached to my clinic but she is not fulltime and I cannot attend at the limited times she is available. Has anyone else gone off track like this and how did they get back to normal?

I think we all have times when it's too much. I know I personally find it hard at times..and being down makes me less active and that doesn't help. So small steps I say, firstly you are not bad ..you are finding it difficult to work things out and there are others willing to help..at your clinic..here. I'm not one who naturally stands up and shares but found at DAFNE that others helped because they understood that we all have days when we can't make sense of it.And the only important thing about ratios is to find what is right for you. Hope you can find the first step to make things better for you

Thanks for replying. The thing is, it isn't just the odd day. It seems like a constant struggle. I have had diabetes for 17 years now and have still not got on top of it, and the longer it goes on, the more terrified I am of complications. I thought I had cracked it after DAFNE but it turns out that was a false hope. I feel alone and don't know where to turn.

Hi Lizzie..I'm not a health professional ..I think you need to tell your clinic that things aren't working and you need help because you are aware and scared of the consequences. Could be changes of insulin needed..insulin insensitivity..I find stress plays havoc with BGs..and I know caring for sick relative is stressful. I have had diabetes for 23 years and I managed well onl mixed insulin then it was was discontinued.I feel like a newbie as far as QA and BI goes.
Someone on another forum recently recommended 2 books,
Think Like a Pancreas: A Practical Guide to Managing Diabetes with Insulin by Gary Scheiner
Diabetes Burnout: Preventing it, Surviving it, Finding Inner Peace by William H. Polonsky
and I'm waiting for my library to get them in.
Both American but thought worth a look.
Tell your clinic of your difficulties with appointment times..they may be able to offer a one off suitable for you.If not ask if they can refer you to another clinic.
Hope you can find a way to better control soon.
Laura

Thanks Laura, I will look into getting those books. I find it hard to talk to doctors since I have this feeling they want me to be perfect and they are disappointed in me. I have not yet met a medical person whether dietitian, nurse, doctor or whatever, who I feel I can talk to. That is probably all in my head. They are very nice but I can't open up to them. Over the years I have finessed the art of smiling and telling them nothing is wrong, just a temporary blip, will do better next time. I will ask if I could see someone at a different clinic though, that's a good idea. There are several hospitals in the local PCT so I will look into attending a different one if they have more flexibility or more staff.

I know what you mean about record keeping: you get a 'bad' result and you look at it staring up at you from the meter and you think 'I just can't stand to write that result down'.

And I reckon the whole problem is that we think of it as a 'bad' result. I'm a very positive person, yet it has taken me forever to reach the point where I can say to myself:

"What a stunningly off balance result. Oh well, it happened. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person." I simply write EVERYTHING down, no ifs, no buts, 'cos if I don't, I'll never really know what my body is doing.

The trick is: don't beat yourself up, and don't hide the results either. Trust me, I understand how much easier that is to say than to do. Repetition is the key. Each and every time tell yourself it's nothing to feel bad about. It's a fact, like the temperature. Write it down, think about how you got there and move on. The repetition where you tell yourself you aren't bad changes your ingrained tendency to beat yourself up. If you try to take the emotion out of it each and every time, eventually you relax. Take the stress out of it 100 times, and finally you'll start feeling more relaxed, and a lot of other things will fall into place as well.

Anthony, wise advice, I agree I have learnt not to stress about results but just write them all down and look back and try to work them out. it can be a challenge but worth it in the long run , although I still find it tough letting others see my results.

By the way, nice to see someone from Oz contributing, I have been hassling your educators for a while to get people signed up. Its always a good thing to get a different perspective from people whose health care system might be different from ours and whose challenges may vary even though we ALL basically have the same problems, something that is clear I think on the first day of a DAFNE course when you meet a group of other people with pretty much the same problems as you.