Denial

Hi,

Ive had diabetes for 4 years and just recently done the dafne course, which i found fantastic....but... im only just coming to terms with my diabetes, im not actually sure what is happening to me but i think im coming out of denial! I think the course has finally made me realise that i have to accept this way of life and im really really struggling to cope with having diabetes. Especially since im a chocoholic and smoke on and off I love exercise and try my best to eat healthily. But my Hba1c 9months ago was 16%, then 3 months ago was 13% and now is just over 10% ...since i came off the dafne course i seem to of lost the plot and been eating bad things and my bg is so high again. My brother has type 1 diabetes and has had since we were children, so i have lived with it my whole life but im finding it so hard to accept.

Has anyone else gone through this? Will this phase ever end?

Thanks, Claire (27yrs)

Hello, I am 57 years old & diagnosed Type 1 - Insulin dependant Nov 2008... I was in denial & a litle frightened of taking too much Novo Rapid at night to correct thinking I was not going to wake up... suprisingly, I'm still here!.... fortunately, I am using a 'demi' pen that allows me to take half units so, I can' er' on the side of caution to try out taking just that little bit more. I now find that after adhering to the DAFNE principles (CPs to ratio) my targets are around 6 or 7 BGL through the day & breakfast is usually 5 or 6. So, it can be done... good luck

Hey claire.........

My situation is similar in some ways.

I was diagnosed 11 years ago when I was fifteen but I was climatised to diabetes as my younger brother was diagnosed when he was 2 years old.

The denial should pass, and I would of thought more quickly than four years. It took me a month to actually go into denial then a few months to come out of it. I am no shrink but the best way I would think to combat it is to throw yourself into a good routine of testing so to look forward to the next result. For me thats what DAFNE has done, its made me want to know my BG so that I can see it working.

DAFNE is to enable you to have flexibility in what you eat, so being a chocoholis is OK as long as you are covering with insulin, but remember to much of these things is bad for anyone.

As for the smoking, I am a smoker too, not heavily but smoke none the less. That just adds to the risks we already have, but it shouldnt get you down.

Just concentrate on what you learned on DAFNE and work with your diabetic specialist team.

Your HbA1c is coming down, that is a good accomplishment, and people should be telling you that.

If you have any questions about results or anything really I am on here everyday.

You should also come over to:

www.diabetessupport.co.uk.

It is a forum for diabetics, type 1, type 2, type 1.5, gestational and parents/carers, were all there and the support is really good if you struggle from time to time and the wealth of knowledge is second to none..

Chin up.....

Hope to hear from you soon....

Hi Claire
I can sympathise with you.
I have been type 1 since i was 5 and didnt have a clue about it so kinda drifted along with what the doctors said!
BUT when i hit my teens i rebelled and wais in a serious state of denial, right up til i hit my early 20s having had 2 kids by this time too!
You do get over the "why me" bit and it will get easier!
My son is going through exactly the same thing as you are now he is 12 and has been diabetic since he was 5.
I have yet to go through it with my younger daughter who was diagnosed at 20 months shes 8 now!
Good luck and remember we are all her for moral support and help and to scream at if need be!

I would echo most of what novarapidiboi26 says, apart from how long denial should last. There is no set time for denial I don't think, you can come out of it and go back to it. I'm lucky in that I just 'accepted' it and mostly I'm good, but hey we are all bad sometimes right ? life would be too boring otherwise. A few bad days is not going to cause any long term damage, better maybe to get it out of your system than let it build up. I agree you need to focus on the positive, your HBa1C is down 6% !! OK so its still not ideal but its much, much better and if you keep going in the right direction you WILL get there eventually.
I'm sure others will add their experiences of denial, thats what the site is for, sharing experiences just like the course itself. We are all here to help each other and hopefully stick to the DAFNE principles (most of the time ;^) )

Thankyou so much guys! I think where i have just spent a whole week with 10 other type 1's in a classroom, its kind of hard getting used to be thrown back out to a world where noone understands. (Although, like i said my brother has had type 1 since age 7... im not saying it was easy for him because i wouldnt swap with him, but he had our parents to do everything for him because he was a child and learnt to live with it. Whereas i got it through gestation and it never went away- slow onset type 1).

When i was diagnosed with gestational diabetes i wasnt too worried about it, my bg levels were perfect and my consultants were really pleased, but i could do it because i thought it was only for 9 months and it was for the sake of my precious unborn baby. Im so desperate to have more children and cant until my Hba1c is 6-8 because of the risks to the baby. Just before i did the dafne course my results were 10% but that was 6 weeks ago and my blood sugar has been repeatedly high, but especially since i finished the course. My meter reads HI quite a bit in the last few days (i still test my blood a lot). Having and eating disorder does not help the diabetes situation but i am getting help for that and it is getting better. I am glad my Hba1c went down 6% but after the last 6 weeks its probably gone up to 16% again!

Ive been through some tough things and ive always thought i was fine with being diabetic and now 4 years later and after doing dafne ive found out im obviously not! I dont feel sorry for myself as such, i just feel like crap everyday because of my high sugar levels and i really AM trying, but its just not good enough. If i cant get my bg down so i can have a baby i will never do it!

Thanks everyone for replying, i really appreciate it

It was the same in my class, there were ppl who were diabetic for 30 years, but they still didnt know the ins and outs......

Now that you know your stuff you couldnt be better equipped to investigate whats happening with your sugars and how to combat them.....it took me ages to finally get a hold of them, and several different insulins with different peaks and troughs...bla bla bla.......and i am still not perfect..but thats ok.......

Hope to hear from you soon....

I was diagnosed eight years ago after a lengthy misdiagnosis by my GP, and I'd say I've only recently come out of denial, if I have at all. I think it's just something you have to come to terms with in your own time. I only did DAFNE a week ago, but it has helped me having a logical framework to work from. I wouldn't say I've 'embraced' diabetes at all, it's more reluctant resignation, but now I'm able to eat what I want (being a total chocoholic) the punishment feeling has lessened. I gave up smoking about three years ago, after many failed attempts, by reading one of Alan Carr's books (not the alleged comic), so can recommend that method.

Leigh